On Banter

Aston Villa fans on Saturday away at Wycombe were actually able to get through to the players what they thought about their performance so far this season. Villa fans were also able to catch the players getting on to the team bus after the match  (the players have their own private entrance/exit at Premier League stadiums). The Villa fans were extremely angry and got very abusive.

I thought it was fantastic, and hilarious. 

 I'm sure Villa fans are sick to the back teeth of being goaded at work by fans of other clubs and they had every right to take that out on their overpaid, underperforming players. Angry shouting and swearing is an integral part of the English game. Some stupid so-called journalists call this 'passion' - it's nothing of the sort. The American travel writer Bill Bryson has called Britain 'the angry isle' and I think he has a point. The average Englishman does like to go to the football on a Saturday afternoon to curse and bawl and generally take out the week's frustrations, everyday humiliations and the quiet despair eating away at their soul on the players and the referee before going to the pub afterwards to get obliterated and forget everything completely. 

However, some fans are far too thin-skinned for my liking. Some Villa fans complained that Joleon Lescott swore at them on Saturday, but I think players should be allowed to swear at fans who abuse them. I also think that referees should be allowed to join in with the banter. Adam Lallana putting in a complaint about a referee who told him 'you've changed since you played for England' was petty and pathetic. I also think referees should be allowed to swear at players, players swear enough at them.

More troubling than mere swearing though is the amount of racist, homophobic and misogynistic language which is still heard. Eva Carneiro, Sian Massey and other women in football have reported being subjected to misogynistic abuse on a regular basis and it is instructive that there are no openly gay Premiership football players (they are terrified of the abuse they would receive). And although a lot of the racist chanting at grounds has now been cut out, anti-Semetic abuse in particular is still quite common. Worse than that, although it is not directly connected to racist abuse inside grounds it is very sad that there are no British Asian players at all in the entire football league - English football clearly does still have a race problem.

The lines between 'banter' and 'hate-speech' are obviously blurred, but perhaps we need to redefine what is and what is not acceptable. While the energy and the excitement of fans and the atmosphere at matches (up to and including personal abuse) is one of the things that makes English football so great, the accompanying bigotry is totally unacceptable and needs to change.

What's special about the FA Cup?

At first glance there is no reason why the FA Cup should be considered so special by so many. Most big clubs rest players for early rounds and consider Champions League qualification to be more important than winning the Cup. (Tottenham and Leicester made seven and eight changes respectively for their match on Sunday). Furthermore, a lot of the games are played on pitches which look more suitable for female naked mud-wrestling than for football and in weather conditions that make north-west Kazakhstan in February look like Malibu in May.

Many people cite the tradition of 'cup-shocks' as being a vital part of the FA Cup, but surprise results happen frequently in other less-regarded cup completions around the world. For example, in 2008 Real Union knocked Real Madrid out of the King's Cup and in 2009 EA Guingamp, then of French League Two actually won the French Cup. So the FA Cup is nothing special in that regard.

It might be the rich history the competition has, but who actually knows much about that? I certainly wouldn't be able to tell you when Yeovil beat Sunderland or when the Matthews Final was and I doubt most other fans could either. Perhaps the idea that the Cup has a history is what's appealing rather than the reality of the nitty-gritty details.

Lastly, some people suggest that the FA Cup has 'romance'. But those people are just 'tards. Romance is red roses, candles and an Italian restaurant before a quick snack in the bush isn't it? But what's romantic about red noses, floodlights and a mobile burger-van before a quick whizz behind a bush? Nothing!

So, why are people so enthusiastic about the FA Cup? The only reason I can think of is the enthusiasm people have for it, despite everything. Despite the cold and crapness of England in January, despite the fact that the big clubs don't take it seriously and despite the fact that it is on the surface so mundane and unremarkable. How quintessentially English.

Can Arsenal win the title?

Can Arsenal win the title?

No, they have no chance.

Arsenal always bottle it, and there's no reason to think otherwise now. Their recent performance against Southampton was disgraceful, they choked plain and simple. Nacho Monreal (his name sounds like Set Menu No. 2 at my local Mexican restaurant) was particularly poor and is clearly a weak link in the side. All of Arsenal's usual failings were on display, they looked small, slow and physically weak compared to Southampton's bigger, seemingly more athletic players. They missed chances (Giroud and Walcott are particularly bad at that) and they gave the ball away too often.

Another reason why they can't win the title is injuries. Arsenal's injury record has been so bad for so long now that there must be something Wenger is doing wrong, either with the training or match preparation. No team can be that unlucky. Tomas Rosicky has spent more time on the injury list than Gary Glitter has spent on the sex offender's list; Jack Wilshire isn't much better either. But the big ones are Sanchez, Cazorla and Coquilin; with them still injured for much longer Arsenal have no hope.

Yes, they can do

There is plenty of counter-evidence, however, that Arsenal can win the title. For starters they have Mezut Ozil. He may have the looks of someone who's just been punched repeatedly in the face by Brock Lesnar, but boy what a player. His recent performance against Bournemouth was absolutely exceptional and with 16 league assists already this season he is more than on course to be Thierry Henry's all-time Premier League record of 20. Ozil is a joy to watch and has a great chance of winning Player of the Year, especially if Arsenal do go on to win the Premier League title. 

The other reason that Arsenal have a great chance is that their rivals don't look up to much, quite frankly. Chelsea and Manchester United's problems are well documented and Manchester City have an oddly Arsenal-like injury list. City are also far too dependent on Kompany in defence and Aguero to score the goals, Arsenal however have far greater strength-in-depth and this may well count in their favour in the long run.

Can Arsenal do it? I think there are good arguments on both sides. It will be interesting to find out.

On Klopp

We keep getting told by the London media that Jurgen Klopp is a breath of fresh air at Liverpool, that he is certain to be a vast improvement on Brendan Rogers, that has already improved Liverpool immensely and that Liverpool are certain to be challenging for honours very soon. A few weeks ago we were even being breathlessly told that Liverpool could challenge for the league title this season.

But is that all really true? One point in the last three games has certainly stalled Liverpool's progress and they are now ninth - they were tenth when Rogers was sacked. Moreover, Liverpool finished 6th and reached the semi-finals of the FA Cup last season. In order to be a 'vast improvement' on Rodgers, Klopp will have to achieve top four and win a trophy this season. It won't be easy.

Klopp had an excellent record at Dortmund (apart from a Mourinho-style meltdown in his last season which saw Dortmund in the relegation zone in the middle of the season). But the Premier League is far more competitive than the Bundesliga and Rodgers did a much better job than he gets credit for - I'm still not yet convinced that he is all he is hyped up to be. 

Lastly, I have composed some poems.

So Leicester City are at the top

For their next match they're going to the Kop

Will Liverpool put their run to a stop?

Or will Leicester make a fool out of Klopp?

On Monday the Arse beat City

For Pellegrini oh what a pity

Mezut Ozil played well again

Mezut Ozil, ten out of ten

There was once a coach called Ho-Zay

Whose team won the title last May

Now they're awful, the roster

From Cesc Fabregas to Costa 

And Ho-Zay's out on his arse, hooray!

Mourinho - the new dead man walking

Mourinho: a dead-man-walking

Chelsea were very poor against Leicester on Monday night. Mourinho obviously got his tactics totally wrong and there was a lack of desire to press properly in defence. It was all very odd because these are things Mourinho usually does so well.

Firstly the tactics, Diego Costa had a rotten game because Leicester (like every other team in the league) have learned to wind him up and get him frustrated. It's easy to do because he seemingly has the mental fortitude and patience of a ten-year-old. He couldn't hold the ball up and couldn't do anything really, so he needed help. But Mourinho didn't bring on Remy as a second striker until the 66th minute, he should have made the change much, much earlier. Chelsea also consistently failed to get the ball out wide and put crosses into the box for Mr. Sulky. When they did start making overlaps out wide and putting crosses in in the last twenty minutes they looked much more dangerous. But why didn't they do that before?

Even more worryingly for Chelsea is they often didn't put pressure on the ball properly letting Leicester play in front of them instead. The goals they conceded both came from the kind of shoddy, embarrassing defending you would expect from a bottom five team. Ivanovic in particular was awful, he kept dropping off Albrighton coming towards him and then getting caught out by the cross away and over his head. But it's not a big surprise because he's been awful all season. So why hasn't Mourinho just dropped him?

Ivanovic was as embarrassing as a premature ejaculation, but he wasn't the only culprit by far. My view is that some Chelsea players weren't playing for Mourinho. Too many of them were too slow to press the ball allowing Leicester players to pick out a pass, too many dropped off runners driving forward into the box. There's no other explanation for it.

Chelsea were absolutely abysmal, yet the world's most arrogant manager seemed clueless in what to do about it. That doesn't bode well for the future.

Ranieri is achieving redemption; if he can get Leicester City into the top four he will be the special one, but Mourinho is looking increasingly like a dead man walking. 

Villa

Aston Villa look very likely to go down this season. With only six points from fifteen games they are already seven points from safety, not good. Indeed, it could well end up being humiliating as Villa actually have fewer points than Derby County did at the same stage in 05/06 when they ended up with the lowest points total in Premier League history.

It would be fair to say that their fans are long-suffering and have had to put up with a relative lack of success for far too long. Villa are a big club with one of the largest catchment areas in Europe (the West Midland metropolitan area has 3.7 million people). They have seven league championships and a European Cup, all won in the pre- Premier League era, that was equal with Manchester United when the Premier League first started. So, what's gone wrong?

The club has been badly run for an awful long time. Both the previous owner, Doug Ellis and the current one, Randy Lerner, have failed to invest properly in the club. And managerial appointments have mostly been very poor, with the honorable exception of Martin O'Neill. O'Neill himself was very unlucky, Villa always seemed to come unstuck in the Spring while going for the Champions League places, and let's not forget the 2010 League Cup final against Manchester United and Phil Dowd's terrible decision not to send off Vidic for a clear professional foul within the first five minutes of the match. United eventually won 2-1 and O'Neill, such a talented manager, later resigned citing a lack of backing from Lerner in the transfer market. 

Fast forward to 2015 and Villa sold their two best players over the summer without being able to properly replace them. Again, a familiar pattern of bad luck and bad leadership emerges; They were incredibly unlucky to lose their two players in the same transfer window, any club would be severely knocked back by that, but they should never have been relying so heavily on them to begin with.

Villa fans deserve much better than what they've had to put up with recently. But maybe if relegation results in a change of owner it might not be such a bad thing?

Jose Mourinho and the sycophants.

Jose Mourinho is the person to blame for Chelsea's problems this season, it's clear. He has obviously lost some of the players - I suspect, at least in part, because of the Eva Carneiro incident. He has also spectacularly failed to improve the squad from last season - Pedro and Falcao have been totally useless signings. Lastly, he has been getting his tactics badly wrong as Frank Lampard and Jamie Carragher explain here http://youtu.be/_iBAAww3KwI

What's more he has, quite frankly been behaving like a cunt, complaining about referees far too often and always trying to pass the blame on to someone else for his own failures. He deserves to get sacked.

Like many people I am thoroughly enjoying watching Chelsea and Mourinho twisting in the wind this season. But what I find most interesting is the slavish way in which the mainstream media and Chelsea fans are making excuses for him. We keep getting told that it's the players fault, and that most of them have lost form at the same time. We have also been told that Mourinho needs time to turn it around. 

Regarding Chelsea fans, I can understand why they love Mourinho, but fans CAN get things wrong sometimes. I'm sure most Liverpool fans would recognize that turning on Benitez in 2007 was a huge mistake. Similarly, West Ham fans would admit that Alan Pardew was very harshly treated. And some Manchester United fans would be embarrassed now to admit that they wanted Ferguson gone when Manchester United failed to qualify for the Champions League knock-out stages back in 2005. My point is that I think Chelsea fans are badly misguided in being so loyal and sycophantic to Mourinho now.

But the behavior of some of the mainstream media has been far more disingenuous (or to put it another way, has been a complete and utter fucking disgrace). Why do the worship at the feet of this man? Why do some of them refuse to criticize him while going way overboard in their criticism of other managers? The only possible reason I can think of is that a lot of journalists believe in the narrative that Mourinho is some sort of 'evil genius' who is superior to other managers and can win matches almost through sheer force of personality. Chelsea's results this season clearly go against that and many pundits just don't know how to take it. It's pathetic!

While Chelsea are 16th in the league Liverpool were 8th when Rodgers got sacked by Liverpool. And many pundits think Monk at Swansea should be sacked despite them being two places above Chelsea in the table. If all managers were treated equally then Mourinho would have been canned a long time ago.